


The tale of Merlin and Arthur (the stripper)

by Azile_Teacup



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: kinkme_merlin, Dating, F/M, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azile_Teacup/pseuds/Azile_Teacup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for this kinkme_merlin: Arthur/Merlin (modern AU)</p><p>Merlin's birthday bash gets out of hand and the neighbours call the police. When a constable shows up, he is blond and gorgeous and everything Merlin has ever wanted for in a man. </p><p>Merlin is drunk and assumes he is the stripper. Arthur arrests him.</p><p>(except I kind of forgot the arrest)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The tale of Merlin and Arthur (the stripper)

Merlin invites fifteen people to his 23rd birthday and tells them to bring their partners and friends. About thirty people show up. But he has a big flat and he and Will and Gwen have been testing cocktails all afternoon, so he doesn't mind. He welcomes everyone with further and further degrees of inebriated enthusiasm and his flat is soon full of people.

Merlin beams around at them all and accepts a present graciously from a stranger.

"It's just a bottle of Sourz I'm afraid!"

"That's awesome. That's so lovely of you. Thank you!"

Merlin hugs the bottle to his chest and kisses the strange girl on the cheek then totters off to the kitchen.

"Gwen, Gwen? Gwennie!"

"Here, you drunkard. What is it?"

"I got a new bottle. Look!"

Merlin shows her his gift but pulls it back when she tries to take it, horrified.

"I just wanted to see what it is you got, lovely. I'm not taking it. It's your birthday- get as drunk as you please."

"Thank you."

Merlin says it as solemnly as he remembers. There's a lot of noise in his flat, there's a lot of alcohol, but something's still missing.

"Music! We need music Gwen Gwen."

"If you stop with the pet names I'll commandeer Will's ipod for you."

Merlin pouts but Will's ipod is brilliant. Merlin had put all the music on so of course it is.

"Okay. No more Gwennie or Gwen Gwen."

"Cheer up, you can still call me beautiful if you want."

Merlin perks up at that and ambles after her. He looses her in the crowd and opens his new bottle, trusting she'll find him again. People yell happy messages to him and congratulate him on surviving another year.

Merlin takes it all graciously and beams between drinks. Then Gwen reappears and he lets her help him put on his pre-prepared Party playlist.

"Pre preprade Platly prayist!"

"Yes Merlin, just so."

As the music starts up people cheer and Merlin goes to pull Percy and Lance into the crowd for a dance. He still stops every now and then to get a gulp of Sourz and soon the bottle is empty. He gives it a sad look.

"I need a balloon."

"Why?"

"So I can be like Eeyore."

"Merlin! There's someone knocking!"

"Door!"

"More people!"

“But Eeyore's present was Honey, not Sourz!”

More people? Merlin stumbles to the door and smiles as he flings it open.

There's a blond man on the other side giving Merlin a mean look. Merlin pouts.

"Do you have a balloon? Oh, but you're beautiful."

The man looks startled, then even more startled and pulls a balloon out of his pocket.

"I do have a balloon. That's a weird coincidence. Here you go."

Merlin takes the balloon, opens his bottle and stuffs the rubber into the neck then beams at his new guest.

"Look, I'm like Eeyore now!"

"Right. Is this your party?"

"Uhuh. S'my birthday. Who brought you?"

"No one brought me. Um, do you know who I am?"

"No. No."

Merlin's sad about that, but then he perks up.

"I don't know everyone here, see, but you should still come in."

Merlin nods earnestly and tries to draw the man into the room.

"Mr. Emrys, try taking a look at my uniform, kid."

Merlin has been caught up in the man's face- the blue, blue, blue of his eyes, the crooked loveliness of his mouth, the perfect nose, the soft looking blond hair- now, though, he runs his eyes down the man's body.

All muscle and, Merlin's sure, grace. The man stands with perfect poise, feet planted exactly right. He's utterly perfect. Merlin runs his eyes up and then down again and notices the blue of uniform, the shiny buttons, the hat under the arm and gasps.

"Yes."

"You're a stripper! GWEEEENN!"

"Yes, I... No. No, no, no way. I'm not... Mr. Emrys! Someone called the police."

"Oh. Good."

"Yes, and that's me."

"What's up, Merlin?" 

Merlin turns to voice and sees Gwen. He tugs Gwen's sleeve and gestures to the blue perfection in the doorway.

"Gwen, someone got me a stripper. And he's more beautifool... full.. fuller than you are."

Gwen's lips quirk and she grins a tiny grin.

"Gwen! Enthusiasm! This is a stripper. Let's watch yeah? I know Lance is your, your, but he's not as lovely as this one."

"Well, Merlin, Lance is a real police man."

"I guess. Oh well, this one isn't! Hey, come on in, man, and get set up. I'm the birthday boy so you can dance specially for me, kay?"

"Um, Gwenevere!"

Merlin frowns.

"No, Merlin. Gwen's not special, just me, kay?"

Gwen is laughing at him. Laughing, at him. On his birthday.

"'s not nice Gwennie."

"What's going on... oh, hey Arthur. Too much noise?"

"Yes! Yes! I'm here about the noise!"

Gwen is on the floor now and Merlin glares at her then turns to Lance.

"Lance, Gwen's not being nice about my stripper. She's laughing and now he thinks it's her birthday and it's not, it's mine!"

Lance is all crinkled up with worry about Gwen's meanness and Merlin gives her a smug smile. Lance will tell her.

"Stripper? You got a side job Penny?"

"Please, please. Lance I will pay you, do anything, if you get me out of this."

"Hmm. Dinner? That Macaroni cheese you make?"

"Yes, yes."

"Okay. But you'll need to cook for me for... a whole week and cover my shift on Gwen's birthday if you don't want me telling the guys."

"Lance! You're holding up my stripper. Come on in, stripper. Can I wear your hat?"

Merlin pushes Lance aside and bites his lower lip, looking up through his lashes. The stripper is looking scared and a bit frantic.

"Don't worry, we can make Lance and Gwen go away. They're not really frightening I promise."

"Lancelot DuLuc, macaroni for a week and cover for Gwen's birthday! Now do something."

The last bit is growled and it sounds so perfect coming from the man's throat. Merlin giggles and reaches out to feel the guy's arm, but Lance is pulling him away.

"I'll send everyone not invited home and turn the music down. It's his birthday though, so we're not gonna be silent."

"I gathered the birthday bit. Just get the noise down okay? The guy who rang was reasonable and said it was okay until the screaming started."

"Ah. That would be YMCA."

Merlin pouts and tries to pull out of Lance's hold.

"No, Merlin come on. He's a real copper, mate."

"Not a stripper?"

"No."

Merlin turns his pout onto the stranger.

"Will you strip for me anyway? You really are lovely."

"Um, no. Not, not part of my job description. Sorry."

"Oh."

Merlin feels sad about that. The man is going to go. Then he brightens.

"I know! Stay here. Stay! You watch him Lance, kay?"

"Best to stay, mate. Merlin's a love and I don't want to disappoint him."

Merlin nods.

"I'm a love. See? Lance never lies. Stay."

Then he pushes through the crowd and gets the pens Freya gave him for a present and hurries back. Lance is leaning against the doorway chatting and the lovely man is laughing.

It's a really nice laugh. Like a really nice donkey. Merlin pushes forward and nudges his way past Lance to grab the beautiful man's hand.

"I'm Merlin. Remember that. I'll put my name in case you forget. Do you want it in pink or purple?"

"Purple, please."

"Kay. Here."

Merlin carefully writes his name and mobile number then puts the cap back on the pen.

"Was a present, better keep it safe."

"You do that, Merlin. I'll call you bright and early before my six o'clock shift tomorrow."

Merlin beams at him and nods enthusiastically then shakes his head in horror.

"Six o'clock?! Oh, no no no. Not early. No!"

The man is laughing at him and Merlin puts his hands on his hips and glares. It's his birthday and he's not taking this.

"No laughing! It's mean. I don't like you any more."

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I promise not to call early. Okay? I'm not mean!"

"Okay. Okay!"

Merlin smiles at him again, then Lance is pulling him back into the flat. 

Merlin wakes up with something in his mouth. He rolls over and tries to spit it out before realising it is his mouth.

“Oh, Merlin that's disgusting. Here. If you're going to vomit do it into this.”

There's a bowl held under his chin. Merlin moans and pushes it away, squinting up the arm holding it to Lance.

“Fine, I'm not cleaning the floor though.”

“Teeth.”

Merlin staggers up and to the bathroom, tripping over people in the hallway. He does his teeth, pisses for what feels like half an hour and then sits in the bathtub with the shower on until the hot water goes.

Merlin expects the kitchen to be disgusting, but it's spotless. He falters and goes to check the rest of his flat. That's clean too and most of the trip-hazards have gone, only Freya and Percy are still lying there. Merlin goes back to the kitchen and Lance hands him a coffee.

“It's tidy. What happened?”

“Gwen happened.”

“I wish she was a boy so I could marry her and still get sex.”

“Unlucky, she's mine.”

Merlin frowns.

“Talking of sex. There was someone here, did someone get me a stripper?”

Lance closes his eyes, face twitching.

“I remember a stripper.”

Lance's face does something odd and he sounds like he's choking.

“Lance! What happened? What did I do?”

Lance can't stop it, his laughter overflows and he holds onto the table as he wheezes and giggles. Merlin crosses his arms, forgetting his coffee and nearly spilling it. He uncrosses them quickly and just saves his mug. Lance laughs harder.

“I'll throw my coffee at you. You know I will. Hangovers make me bad tempered and you are not helping!”

“I'm sorry Merlin, it was just... oh god, Arthur's face!”

And Lance is off again. Merlin dips his fingers into his coffee and flicks them at Lance.

“You're lucky I cherish this coffee.”

He stomps into his living room and puts on the TV. He can't be bothered to do the rest.

“Lance!”

“What?”

“Come put my new DVD in the player and watch with me.”

Lance comes in with a grin.

“Which?”

“Hmm. Dunno. The Orphanage. Lets have a horror marathon.”

“Watch Deep Water, much spookier.”

“Okay.”

Merlin forgets about the stripper until that evening. He and Lance are still bugged out on the couch, Freya and Percy are on the floor and Gwen has come back and is cooking for them. They've moved from horror to Wallace and Gromit, but not the Wrong Trousers because that one gives Lance nightmares.

“I really would marry Gwen if she was a boy.”

“I'd still marry Gwen if she was a boy and she loves me best, so no you wouldn't.”

“She does not! I'm her smarty. You're not her smarty.”

“You do know she means the sugar coated chocolate and not intelligence right?”

“Shut up. At least I'm a red one. I bet you'd be a...a green one! Ha!”

Before Lance can think of a witty come back Merlin's mobile rings at them from the coffee table.

“Pause, pause! Maybe someone's ringing to say happy birthday!”

Merlin reaches for the phone but Percy gets there first.

“Hello, Merlin's den of dirtiness, how may I be of assistance? Just name your kink and Merlin will endeavour to fulfil your every wish.”

“Give it me! You arse, you're a meanie! Give, give!”

“Penny! What are you doing with a nice boy like Merlin's number?”

Merlin watches Percy's face twist, then his eyes go wide and he snorts, then gasps, then roars at the ceiling, holding himself and laughing like he's broken.

“What? Who is that? Percy!”

Percy passes him the phone but doesn't stop laughing.

“Hello?”

-Good evening Merlin, this is your stripper calling.-

“My what?”

-Oh, you were so smashed. It's Arthur? You wrote your name and number on my hand in purple glitter pen? I got mocked all shift because of that by the way.-

Arthur. Stripper. Glitter pens... Oh god. Merlin throws his phone at the wall.

“Lance! Gwen!”

His voice is a high pitched squeal and he wishes he could stop but he can't because,

“Oh my god, oh my god, I assaulted a police officer and... oh my god! Lance, help. Don't let them lock me up! They'll... they'll put me in stocks and throw potatoes at me! Potatoes! I'm like Ross; I bruise like a peach, like a peach...”

Gwen sits on his chest. She shoves a hand into his face and covers his mouth. Merlin struggles because he can't breathe.

“Stop it right now. Breath through your nose and take some nice, deep breaths. That's it.” 

Gwen gets him calm and gets off his chest. Lance and Percy are looking worried, but when Gwen says he's fine they burst out laughing again. Merlin glares. Gwen must glare as well because they subside.

“Sorry Merlin.

“Yeah, sorry. We're not even laughing at you, not really. But of all the people for you to mistake as a stripper, you mistake Pretty Penny. Ha!”

Lance giggles and nods.

“It's not you. It's Pen! He worked in vice for a bit and they dressed him in drag, made him do a strip dance and all sorts. They're harsh with hazing but it's pretty funny. Especially as it was Arthur. He's such an upright, well mannered kid with all this blond hair and this innocent smile that makes grandmothers coo and give him hard candies.”

“Yeah, that has actually happened.”

“Okay, stop. I believe you. Still, I mistook him for a stripper then hung up on him.”

“That wasn't hanging up, love, that was bunging your phone at a wall. I don't think I can fix it.”

Gwen looks truly sorry for that which Merlin appreciates; the phone was the last present from his Dad before he buggered off to America. Gwen's still bending over the casualty when her phone rings in her jeans. She answers absently.

“Hello?... Arthur. It's nice to hear from you... yes, even the brief meeting was lovely... I'll pass you over to him.”

Merlin is shaking his head and gesturing that it will kill him. He freezes when she holds out the phone, in the middle of hanging himself. His eyes are bugged and his tongue's out. Lance is laughing silently and Percy is shaking. Freya is watching it all with big eyes but even she looks amused.

“Hi?”

His voice is a squeak again.

-did you hang up on me?-

“No.”

That's better, much more manly.

-I assume you remembered last night. Don't worry, it's not the worst out of hand party I've dealt with.-

“What is worse than being mistaken for a stripper?”

-Geriatric nudist party. A stag night that nicked three sheep who tried to eat my boots. A woman humping me until she comes, on my uniform. A pregnant girl who insists on peeing in my hat. I could go on.-

Merlin is laughing from 'geriatric nudist' and so he's breathless when he replies.

“No, no! That's enough.”

Gwen gives him a startled look and he glares at her for her dirty mind.

-All right. Look, I need to go sleep for a week but do you want to go out sometime?-

“Um. I'm not in a habit of getting drunk you know. I'm not just gonna be easy.”

Lance chokes on something and Gwen's eyes widen, then she laughs. Percy just closes his eyes and moans, holding his stomach, before shaking again.

-No. No! That's not... you seemed nice is all.-

“I was drunk, how could you tell?”

-You let me choose the colour for your number, you wanted to wear my hat, you were polite even though you thought I was a stripper. You're a nice guy. Besides, Lance and Gwen love you.-

“Lance and Gwen love everyone.”

“Hey!”

There's silence, then a sigh.

-I'm utterly knackered and can't think straight. Do you want to go out or not?-

“Sor-ry! No need to snap, jeeze!”

Lance gestures at him to cover the mouth piece.

“Arthur's just been on double shift, he's got to be out on his feet. He's always a bit short when he's tired.”

Merlin nods and takes a deep breath.

“Friday?”

-I get off at six and need time to go home and shower, feed my cats and I always ring my sister... make it eight o'clock? I can pick you up.-

“All right. Yeah, Friday at eight. Oh! What shall I wear?”

Everyone laughs again, including Arthur. Merlin pouts at the room.

-anything. Wear a rabbit costume for all I care.-

“No! Where are we going?”

-Not a clue. Wear whatever and we'll take it from there. I have to crash now, so I'll see you Friday.-

Merlin glares at the phone when Arthur hangs up.

“He didn't say bye!”

“Merlin, he's probably asleep already. He was knackered when we went off shift last night. Give him a break, yeah?”

Merlin does, but only because it's Lance asking.

“Play.”

Freya smiles up at him and presses the remote. Wallace takes another slice of the moon. Merlin frowns absently.

“He was very beautiful, wasn't he Gwen?”

Everyone bursts out laughing again. 

Merlin gets ready on Friday with Gwen's help. She rushes between his and her own bedroom chattering about colours and shirts, cuts and shoes and hair. Merlin watches her with increasing fear and do as he's told. Gwen giggles when the knock comes and they listen as Lance answers it before hurrying through to the living room.

Lance is standing with Arthur who is as beautiful as Merlin remembers. He's got a serious look on his face and is completely focused on Lance, talking quietly with a hand on Lance's arm. Lance looks round when they enter and Merlin falters; Lance looks like he's about to cry.

Then Merlin sees Arthur's face and the stifled amusement and relaxes a little. Even if the guy is an utter dick surely he wouldn't find Lance's pain funny. Gwen goes to Lance and he buries his face in Gwen's shoulder and wails, “He's gone! Benny's dead!”

Merlin is about to yell at Arthur for being amused by that, but then he notices Gwen is trying not to laugh as well. Merlin's feeling quite confused when Arthur sidles up and bends to whisper in his ear.

“Benny was the station mascot. He was also a snail.”

Merlin frowns and opens his mouth but Arthur shakes his head and goes to rub Lance's back.

“We're going to head out now. I'll drop Merlin back later all right?”

“But Benny's dead.”

“Yes, but he'd want us to go on with life.”

“Okay. He would want that. He was so kind!”

Lance's voice is shuddery and teary and Merlin watches as Arthur's eyes close with the effort of swallowing his laughter, then he pulls Merlin out into the hall and down onto the pavement and it just bursts out of him, long peals of beautiful... well, it's more like a donkey than anything else.

“Shush, they can still hear you.”

“I know, I know. Just wait till you hear how he died though!”

Arthur pulls himself together and bleeps a nice, red car open. Merlin gapes a little when he realises it's a Bentley but manages to get himself in. He sinks into the seat and lets out a little noise of pleasure at the pure comfort.

“Jeeesus! I thought you were a lowly policeman like Lance and Perce?”

“I am. My father has a lot of cars and his... of dear.”

“What?”

“His butler.”

“Your father has a butler?”

“Yes, he does.”

“Man!”

“Yeah. I'm not actually on speaking terms with my father but the butler still lets me in and Gwaine, that's Dad's... oh dear.”

“What is it this time? Man servant?”

“No. Mechanic. His personal mechanic.”

“I see.”

“I talk to Gwaine and Gwaine lets me use the cars.”

“Right. So you cruise around in an Bentley.”

“Yes. It's nice!”

“It's horrible for the environment.”

“Ah. Yes, it is rather. But you see I like cars.”

“Well that's okay then.”

Arthur starts the engine and Merlin tries not to whimper at the sound, the purr. He rather likes cars as well. A degree in engineering does things to you, even if you become a photographer. Arthur pulls out into the road.

“No. But I only use them occasionally and I don't actually own one. I cycle everywhere.”

“Oh. That is... better.”

“You have to admit this is awesome.”

“Where are you taking me in your red planet killer by the way?”

Arthur hesitates.

“I thought we could go eat somewhere?”

“Nowhere as posh as this car, please.”

“No. I know a place.”

“All right.”

The car spins smoothly round a corner and Merlin itches to drive.

“Hey! You love this car!”

“Maybe.”

“Do you like driving? My Dad... oh dear.”

“Shall we just take it as read that he's ridiculously rich so you can stop saying 'oh dear'?”

Arthur smiles but keeps his eyes on the road. Merlin's both glad and disappointed that Arthur is sticking to the speed limit.

“My father owns a track. We could go down some point, meet Gwaine and drive. Race.”

Arthur looks like a little boy holding back his hope. That's what Merlin tells himself his motivation is (but really, a race track? Really good cars? Who would say no).

“All right. Next date.”

Arthur pulls up and parks before turning to beam at Merlin, eyes bright with excitement.

“Brilliant! I've tried to get some of the guys from the station to come out with me but no one wants to. Elena came with me once but that was just because she fancies Gwaine and now they're dating so she doesn't have to any more.”

“Well, I'll come with you.”

“Ace! Now lets go eat and I'll tell you the story of Benny's sad demise.

Arthur all but bounces out of the car and Merlin follows with a little shiver at the night air realising he left his jacket on the living room floor. Merlin looks up at the restaurant he assumes they're going to and frowns. The entire shop front looks skanky. It's squished between two 'for sale' signs, covered in dust and looks like it might fall down.

“Don't worry. Come on, I'll show you.”

Arthur takes his hand and leads him through a red door, up creaky stairs, down a dark passageway. They burst out into a huge, almost warehouse huge, room full of chandeliers, little tables and a big expanse of dance floor. There's a stage at one end where a blues band is playing.

“I thought you might like this. It's a bit random, but also pretty awesome. Me and Leon, that's my partner at work, found this place when someone reported a health hazard to try and get revenge for something or other, being fired maybe.”

“Wow.”

A petite woman dresses entirely in black stalks over on killer heels and looks Merlin up and down before smiling, teeth bared.

“Nice choice Pendragon. Come on through.”

Arthur winces and gives Merlin an apologetic smile before following the scary lady to a round table. She gives them each a menu before stalking off again.

“That's the hostess. She's only rude to me and whoever I bring. Her name's Morgause and I think she hates my father.”

“Ah.”

Merlin looks down at the menu to avoid being overwhelmed by the sheer excitement of everything; the fast car, the crazy restaurant, the fantastic dance floor, Arthur's eyes. Arthur's blue, blue eyes.

“Most of the food's just roast meat with veg. There are a few vegetarian casseroles and stews, soup probably. They try to be 50s about everything. Wait till the singer comes out tonight, I think you'll like her.”

“Okay. Do you reckon chicken or lamb would be best?”

“Ohh. The lamb is so good here. I'm getting that. Everything comes with salad, veg and optional gravy.”

“I'll get lamb then.”

“Do you want wine? We could get a bottle.”

Merlin makes a face and is surprised by Arthur's sigh of relief.

“Good. I hate wine and know nothing about it.”

“Really? You seem the type.”

“Ha! No. Beer all the way I'm afraid. I'll get a coke tonight though; driving and all.”

“I'll stick to soft drinks. My uncle Gaius”

“Gaius? Gaius? Like, Gaius Gaius?”

“Um... Gaius Folk?”

“He's your uncle! Oh my god. You're that Merlin!”

Arthur's face splits into a slightly wicked grin. Before Merlin can enquire the waitress appears. She's wearing a black skirt that sat on her knee and fell from the waist, Dior style, with a white apron and white shirt.

Arthur hands her the menus and orders both their meals before looking to Merlin expectantly. Merlin, distracted by the whole 'you're that Merlin' thing, just gives a confused smile.

“Drink, Merlin. What would you like to drink.”

“Oh! Sorry. Lemonade?”

“Sure. That's two lamb with veg and salad, one gravy boat, one coke and one lemonade.”

“That's it. Thank you.”

She hurries away again and Merlin glares at Arthur.

“I'm what Merlin?”

“Oh. Gaius talks about his nephew Merlin all the time. I should have guessed, I mean how many people are called Merlin?”

“It's a perfectly serviceable name thank you. How on earth do you know my uncle?”

“Ah. Well. Yes. Gaius would be my father's butler.”

Merlin opens his mouth, then closes it, then narrows his eyes.

“You're that Arthur Pendragon? As in Uther Pendragon's son?”

Arthur looks at the table and plays with his napkin before nodding reluctantly.

“Do you want me to take you home? I won't mind.”

“What? Home? Why?”

“Well, people don't often want to dine with Uther Pendragon's son.”

Merlin finds himself gaping again. Sure, Uther Pendragon is a renowned bastard, richer than he deserves and cruel with his money. And sure, if Merlin hadn't already spoken to Arthur he might get up and leave. But.

“You already said you don't speak to him. You work as a copper. You didn't take too much offence when I called you a stripper. Lance and Percy obviously like and trust you. No, I don't want to go home.”

Arthur brightens again and the moment of insecurity vanishes as if it never was.

“Good! So, do you want the story of Benny now?”

“Sure. I also want to know why Lance is sobbing over a snail's demise. Sad though it is the sobbing is unexpected.” 

Arthur laughs and the waitress slips their drinks onto the table and vanishes again.

“Right. Well I guess I'll start with how Benny became out mascot then. Lance found him on the underside of his desk one morning and called for us all to have a look because Benny was massive.”

Arthur curls his fist, then glances at it and shakes his head before putting both fists together and holding them up.

“No way!”

“All right.”

Arthur shows Merlin a more reasonable size. It's still massive for a little British snail but not unbelievable.

“Percy takes a look and notices the slime trails all over Lances's notes. Now the thing you have to know about Percy is that he's quiet, but he likes a good bet. Bet him, dare him, offer him odds and he'll do anything.”

“Oh, oh, yes! We once dared him to streak down a beech in the middle of the day and he did it!”

“Really? I can imagine actually. He has no shame about nakedness. Well, why should he?”

Merlin smiles, then laughs, then blushes as he gets the inference and laughs again. Arthur grins and takes a sip of coke.

“So Percy sees these slime trails and starts a bet; 'I bet,' he says, 'I bet that tomorrow these slime trails run right over tonight's paperwork. At the end of shift we should all make marks and whoever's is closest to the trail tomorrow wins'. And so began the mighty trail bets.”

“The mighty trail bets?”

“Lance lost... you won't tell Gwen will you?”

Merlin zipped his mouth shut. He probably would tell Gwen but Arthur would never know. Arthur's eyes narrow.

“Oh, you'll tell her. Never mind. You know when Lance said he had to work because one of our colleagues was going to a funeral?”

“Yeah, Gwen still thinks it was so sweet of Lance.”

“Mm mm.”

“He didn't.”

“He did.”

“It was Gwen's birthday!”

Arthur nods. His eyes have an unholy gleam in them and Merlin suddenly grins.

“What did you loose.”

Arthur smirks like a Chesshire cat.

“I didn't.”

“You guessed where the trail would go, every time?”

“No. I didn't bet that. I betted that Lance would loose every bet. And he did.”

“That's cheating! Lance always looses.”

“Exactly. Always bet on the surety, no matter what it is.”

“Okay. Okay, I'll let it pass. How did the snail become Benny?”

“Only Lance is sure that it did. We think it was a different snail that became Benny because he shrunk. But Lance grew attached and started feeding him, named him and eventually built him a rather over the top home in the biggest fish tank.”

Arthur holds his arms out as wide as they'll go. Merlin raises an eyebrow. Arthur shakes his head and gives a little nod to his arms.

“No way.”

“Yup. Biggest we could find. Full of earth, twigs, leaves, flowers and snail food. Which is an actual thing you can buy, we found.”

“Hmph.”

“Really!”

Merlin sighs and shakes his head then waves it away.

“So how did Benny die?”

“Well. He escaped first. We forgot that snails can climb. But Lance found him, or a snail just like him, and made a roof for the tank. This afternoon everyone was calmly completing paperwork readying for shift change when Percy comes in dragging this absolute giant of a man. He wasn't as tall as Percy but he was wider and he was off his head on something. Apparently he got cross and threw his chihuahua in a swimming pool.”

“Chihuahua?”

“Yup. So he throws Percy off, Percy! And comes thundering towards me. I'm sat, utterly terrified I don't mind telling you, but then he sees Benny and turns into a big gooey marshmallow. He wanders over to the tank and starts talking to Benny.”

“Talking to Benny. He's a snail.”

“Yes. Like I said he was off his head. He told Benny all about Bitty, his chihuahua, and then starts blubbing. Now Benny's a kind soul, he starts slime-ing up the tank wall to comfort the giant. But the giant misinterprets the move as a threat and starts yelling again, swinging his arms around to ward off, from the sounds of it, an army of snails.”

“Seriously? I get the impression you tend to exaggerated.”

“Seriously. Ask Perce!”

“Oh I intend to.”

“Anyway, one of his arms smacks the ceiling of Benny's home and it crushes him.”

“That isn't funny!”

“The giant then ate Benny's remains.”

Merlin's face contorts and then he wails.

“Ew! That's a horrible story!”

He can't help laughing though. It is a bit funny, in a 'oh my goodness that's so weird' kind of way. The waitress returns with their meals before Merlin can stop laughing and he gets a weird look.

The lamb is as good as Arthur promised and conversation lulls as they both get distracted by food. There isn't really anything else said until their plates are pushed away and they're sighing in contentment.

“You were right. Fabulous food.”

“Thank you. It is good. Shall we dance?”

“Yes.”

They take to the floor and Merlin looses himself in the rhythm, the laughter and, when the singer takes the stage, the voice. When she slows the tempo Arthur takes Merlin in his arms and sways them.

When the music ends Arthur pulls back and looks at Merlin before kissing him. Then, obviously embarrassed by it, he claps his hands.

“Right. Shall we head off? Lance mentioned you're working tomorrow.”

Merlin laughs, but gently, and agrees.

“Yeah. I am a very hard worked boy and have to work Saturdays.”

They wind their way back out to the car and Arthur opens it and lets them in before replying.

“What do you do?”

He starts the engine and pulls the car out.

“I'm photographer. I'm covering a wedding tomorrow.”

“Doesn't sound too bad.”

“Have you ever had to please a bride who wants everything perfect?”

“No, no. You're right. Nightmare.”

“Well, it's a gay marriage tomorrow. But there's still a bridezilla. You'd be surprised at the amount of grooms who are as bad if not worse than their partners. I have a degree in engineering!”

“How did you end up a photographer, then!”

“I kind of got bored on day when I was supposed to be doing this or that to some machine and took some photos instead. It was some kind of fund raising open day at the factory. I sent them to the local paper and they said 'come work for us, you utterly gorgeous man'.”

“Really? No!”

“No. But they would have if they'd seen me.”

“So you work for the local paper.”

“No. I work for whoever gives me work. I'm freelance, like Peter Parker.”

“Except you're hotter.”

“Than Maguire or Garfield?”

“Both.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So, next date?”

“Cars. Track.”

“Awesome.”

They're pulling up in front of Merlin's flat now. Merlin doesn't want to leave, but he kind of has to sleep.

“Next week?”

“Um... I'm working Friday and Saturday. Sunday? I can come here and we'll get the train out to the track. Nine thirty.”

“Okay. Next Sunday, nine thirty.”

Merlin kisses Arthur quickly, before he can chicken out, then jumps out of the car and waves. He watches the car slide back onto the road and then runs up to tell Gwen everything.

Merlin spends the week taking photos of Paralympic preparations for a sports magazine which is fun because they pay for him to go all over the country. He's lucky to get sun as well as rain and that works well; showing people out training or playing in all weather. Very British. Also, he gets to watch the blind football which is just a bit incredible. 

On Sunday Merlin's only just finished getting ready when the knock comes. He opens the door to see Arthur stood there, smiling and still so pretty.

“Morning. Are you ready? I brought coffee and bacon butties.”

“Ohhh. Thanks. Bacon.

“You'll need a jacket.”

Arthur's wearing a black rain jacket zipped half way over a red hoodie. It's a really dark blue, but with the white t-shirt showing under the hoodie Merlin's reminded forcibly of the union jacks he's been seeing all week. He shakes his head and Arthur chuckles.

“Head in the clouds, Merlin.”

“Is red your colour or something?”

Merlin tugs Lance's rain coat off the back of the door and wonders vaguely where his is, then checks he has his keys, money and railcard before shutting the door, glaring at Arthur before grinning. Arthur hands him a sandwich and coffee cup.

“Here. Station?”

“Thanks. This way.”

Merlin leads Arthur down onto the pavement and Arthur pauses.

“What?”

“You look rather wonderful in the sun. It makes your eyes... being a bit of a girl. Sorry.”

Merlin laughs and pats Arthur's arm in commiseration- he's always been called a girl. They walk pretty slowly, eating as they go and exchanging a few words. It seems that Arthur's not much of a talker before breakfast though so they're mostly silent until they reach the station.

“Ah, I kind of already got tickets. Sorry. You're probably the kind of person who wants to pay everything.”

“Yeah, I am. And I have a railcard.”

“Oh. Well, whatever.”

Arthur looks embarrassed and uncomfortable so Merlin decides to let it go for now. He takes the ticket Arthur holds out to him. 

“All right. I'll forgive you this time. Thank you.”

“It's platform two.”

Arthur doesn't really perk up until they're on the train and moving. Then he notices something or other and his whole face lights with a smile.

“You'll not believe it Merlin. Do you remember Benny?”

“I never had the pleasure but he came up.”

“Well, we have a new one.”

“You just replaced him?”

“That's what Lance said. We got a proper snail tank so there won't be a Benny repeat. This one's called Louise and she appeared on Percy's desk, Wednesday afternoon.”

“How can you tell if she's really a she?”

“Well technically snails are hermaphrodites so we just randomly assign gender.”

“Hermaphrodites? Really?”

“Yeah. When they mate they both get to have babies.”

“You know weird stuff.”

“Percy looked it up! It's also pretty widely known.”

“Are you saying I'm thick?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Well you are... a dollophead.”

“What's that?”

“You. In the dictionary it just has a photo of you next to it.”

“Oh. In that case it must be a compliment so thank you.”

“Oh shut up.”

Arthur laughs then and Merlin gets a bare expanse of throat, vulnerable and tempting. He smiles and looks out of the window for a bit, watching the station pull up beside them.

“Crap! This is our stop, come on.”

Arthur leaps up and pulls Merlin down the aisle, still laughing away. They jump off the train into the rain which starts just at that moment. Arthur looks up and opens him mouth, spreads his arms and spins. He looks like a happy six year old.

“Penster!”

“Greeny! What are you doing here?”

There's a... well. Merlin blinks. There's a L'oreal advert walking towards them. There's fantastic hair swishing round this guy's rather handsome face. Merlin would swear that time slows as the man moves. It's a kind of graceful lope and Merlin notices the lithe body.

Then there are fingers snapping in his face.

“Gwaine, you need to stop hypnotising people with your hair. Snap out of it Merlin. He's just flesh and blood like the rest of us. I'll prove it.”

“No you don't!”

Merlin watches as Arthur chases the apparition, now labelled neatly as Gwaine in Merlin's head, around the platform. By the time they pull up next to Merlin once more they're both soaking wet and grinning like loons.

“You two are bonkers, aren't you?”

“We have been told so. I'm Gwaine. You must be Merlin! Arthur keeps ringing to tell me about you.”

Arthur blushes and mutters something about Leon getting cross then claps his hands.

“Right. I assume you came here to meet us? So, car.”

Gwaine leads them to a little black Jag, low to the floor and utterly, utterly gorgeous.

“Oh my god. Is this an original XKE?”

“She's a '61 model, one of the first to be made actually. Isn't she beautiful?”

“I think I'm going to have an orgasm.”

Arthur laughs but it's a little nervous and Gwaine's laugh is much harder. When he recovers he clasps Merlin's shoulder.

“Boy have I got a story for you!”

“Don't.”

“I have to Wart, sorry old boy but it's just too good.”

“I'd love to hear it, but are we all going to fit in this?”

“You'll have to squish on Pen's lap I'm afraid. We're only going five minutes though so you won't mind.”

Arthur tugs the door open and Gwaine is distracted, fawning over the car and telling Arthur off. Arthur winks at Merlin over his head. Eventually they're all squished in.

“Original interior?”

“No, but it is the interior of a 1961 XKE, just a different XKE.”

“You have the original flat floor! Brilliant!”

“We changed the engine. Listen.”

Gwaine starts the engine. Merlin listens to it for a moment.

“4.2?”

“Yup. We changed to a all-synchromesh four-speed gearbox too. Also updated the breaks and electrics. Uther's a bastard but he's a gem to his cars.”

“Will you both shut up and get us to the track?”

“Aw, you just don't want Merlin to hear the XKE story.”

Gwaine pulls the car out of the car park.

“She only does sixty, but she's a lovely old lady.”

“Don't you dare, Gwaine.”

“Oh, are you embarrassed? Ha! Oh man. Well Merlin, this is how it went. Me and the other lads at school walked in on Arthur having a wank one day, in the dorm.”

“You went to school together?”

“I suppose Arthur just called me his father's mechanic? Yeah, we went to DuBois boarding school. Run by Arthur's uncle.”

“Wow. That is posh.”

“Yup. So guess what Arthur was wanking to?”

“No idea.”

Arthur buried his face in Merlin's back.

“It was an old photo of this car; specs, acceleration graphs, ID sheet, all of it!”

Merlin laughs now. He'd seen it coming, but it was still funny.

“You didn't.”

“No, I didn't. There was a really hot mechanic in the photo.”

“That is true, but I always skip that bit.”

Merlin laughs again as Gwaine turns off the road into what at first glance looks like a field. They follow a well kept road and then the track opens up before them.

“Gwaine...”

“Hold on tight.”

“Gwaine!”

They last is shouted as Gwaine puts his foot on the accelerator and they speed through three curves and spin across the wet surface. Merlin laughs and Gwaine whoops, Arthur just hold onto Merlin and mutters.

Gwaine swings them round and slows, driving carefully off the track and into a garage. Merlin can see gleaming hoods in the gloom and notes a ridiculous collection of badges; Jag, Bentley, Lamborghini, Bugatti, Ferrari, Pagini, Koenigseg, Porche, Merc.

“Jesus.”

“This is the only antique down here I'm afraid. Uther likes these kept better than the sports'.”

“I reckon we'll be okay with what is here.”

“Ha!”

Gwaine parks carefully and Merlin squeezes out and offers Arthur a hand, which he accepts.

“Christ. I hate when Gwaine does that.”

“It was fun!”

“It was horrible.”

“Oh come on, Princess. She barely does seventy.”

“It's only meant to go sixty.”

Gwaine makes pretend that he's wounded.

“She! How could you objectify her?”

Arthur laughs at last and pulls Merlin to walk along the line of cars. It takes Merlin twenty minutes to choose and then he only manages because Arthur, fed up with his humming and hawing, remind him he can drive them all at some point today. Gwaine grins and does an impression of Arthur as he rants. Merlin throws his hands up when he can't stop himself laughing any more.

“All right! Enough, all right! All right. I've never driven a Koenigsegg.”

“Really? You're missing out! Try the Agera. It's not the latest model, but it's got a 4.7 V8 so it's powerful enough.”

“Wow. Yeah, okay.”

“Penny hates the things, actually. But he's right- you're missing out. When was the last time you drove?”

“Um, December? Yeah. My dad takes me out in Australia a few times a year.”

“Oh, that's okay then. I'll drive you round the track once and give you specs and details and so forth, then you can do a few slow laps. I'll be driving with you at first. These cars are in my charge so I have to be careful.”

“What about Arthur?”

“If Arthur damages one he can deal with Uther.”

“Thanks a bunch Gwaine.”

“The keys are all in there, so you go ahead Arthur. We'll see you in about half an hour.”

“Sure. All right Merlin?”

“Yeah. This is. Oh my god!”

Arthur grins at him and kisses him quickly before sauntering off. Gwaine snorts.

“He's so not smooth.”

“Ha! No, no. I can't say I'd thought 'smooth' at all.”

“Right. Shall we?”

Merlin whimpers a bit as he sees the interior.

“Jesus.”

“I know! First ever car with 'ghost lighting'. She's beautiful. Buckle up.”

Merlin does the belt and takes a breath. Gwaine laughs.

“We'll do a slow lap, then I'll show you what she can do. Try and get a feel for the track yeah?”

“All right.”

Gwain takes them out and Merlin listens carefully to the lecture on torc (1100NM at 1500rpm! Jesus.) and horsepower. Gwaine talks him through the corners as they go.

“This is just a bend, you can race through here no problem. This one's a little sharper, but take the outside line and you'll be good.”

“Whats the 0-60mp?”

“3.4 but I've done it in three. The engine's pretty powerful. Arthur's got the Vesper out, that can do 200 in 20 seconds.”

“Christ!”

“Arthur won't though, not while we're pottering about.”

“How?”

“16 cylinder, V8 engine. This is the bend to watch, it's a killer. You won't actually die, mind; there's a nice big field on the left and this car is pretty safe for a track like this. Try and take a line through the middle because in this weather your wheels will spin out.”

Merlin watches carefully until they make the loop. Gwaine revs the engine as Arthur comes up beside them, winking at Merlin.

“All right, lets do this! Never beat the Vesper but we'll give him a good run. Hold on!”

There's more reving and then Gwaine bullets off.

“60, 70, 80, ha!”

Arthur shoots past them. Gwaine catches him at the second corner and almost overtakes on the third. Merlin laughs in delight as the car gets faster and faster. Gwaine is a very good driver and the turns are made to look easy. By the time they reach the start line Arthur's standing against the Vesper looking a little bit shell shocked. Gwaine parks and Merlin jumps out to whoop.

“That wasn't bad Greeny. The Vesper, though, jesus! Didn't know how fast... Jesuse! ”

“I nearly caught you on the killer! It was better than not bad!”

“Oh come on. You drive here every weekend and I hate that bloody bend.”

“Only because you crashed it!”

“Only twice!”

“That was bloody brilliant! Can I drive now? Can I? Please!”

Arthur gives him a fond smile and Gwaine looks startled for a moment, narrowing his eyes at Arthur. But then he opens the driver's door. 

It takes three times round before Gwaine lets Merlin put the peddle down. By then Arthur has the Vesper under control and is bombing past them every few seconds, ramming the horn and mocking them.

“All right. Get him.”

“All right!”

Merlin remembers everything his Dad's ever taught him and puts everything into driving. He takes the killer corner at 80 and spins right out to the edge, but not off. Then he accelerates down the straight to 124 and revs the engine, breaking into the next corner and skidding round past Arthur.

Gwaine cheers and reaches over to hoot the horn as the slide past, but then the straight comes again and Arthur accelerates away.

They race six laps before Arthur skids to a halt. Merlin breaks and slides a few hundred feet past him but the breaks are good and the stop is pretty quick. Merlin jumps out again and runs to Arthur taking his mouth and holding his head in place as he rides out the adrenaline high.

When he pulls back Arthur's eyes are wide, breath coming in pants and he stares at Merlin.

“Oh. Hi.”

Merlin grins at him.

“This is the best date ever!”

Arthur blushes and ducks his head making Merlin laugh again. Gwaine comes up beside them and claps Arthur on the shoulder.

“You're getting better in the Vesper. You nearly have it. I reckon Merlin has you beat though.”

Arthur smiles and looks a little bit wonderful.

“Yeah. He's good. Where did you learn to drive?”

“My Dad. He's a race mechanic for an Ausie team. The Dragons?”

“Oh. Yeah. They're good. They refuse sponsorship, right?”

“Yup. Dad's richer than Uther and loves cars so he backs everything. They're all racers who want to race for themselves, choose their own equipment and most of them can afford it. Dad mostly pays fines, track up-keep, a few mechanics, stuff like that.”

“Well, if he taught you no wonder you're better than me.”

Merlin smiles at that. His father is a bit of a sore spot for him and the compliment is welcome.

“So, do you want to try another car?”

“Yes! I want to try a Bentley.”

“We have a 12 cylinder, 6 litre convertible? 567 hp at 6,100 rpm.”

“Okay, that sounds a bit awesome.”

“Can I drive with him this time Gwaine?”

“Hmm. I'd say no, but the Vesper is calling my name so all right. Just take it careful, yeah?”

“Of course. I'll take the Agera in.”

Arthur and Gwaine split away to the cars and Merlin is left alone on the track.

“Hey!”

He runs after Arthur and jumps in the passenger seat. Arthur grins at him.

“I love this car. I usually drive her.”

There's a moment as Gwaine comes up beside them and then there's the revving again and Arthur laughing, then the speed and rush of adrenaline. Merlin admits that Arthur is probably a better driver than him in this car. There's such an ease round the bends and on the killer they catch Gwaine and Arthur accelerates into the corner.

“Oh god, oh god!”

“Hang on Merlin, here comes the straight.”

Arthur coaxes the car faster and faster into the next bend and then there are only two more bends, the straight and they're spinning over the finish line and breaking right outside the garage a millisecond in front of the Vespa. Arthur leans into the horn, winds down the window and yells abuse at Gwaine who just accelerates away. Arthur pulls himself back in, flushed cheeks and bright eyes, to drive them gently into the garage.

“That was fun, yeah?”

“Brilliant! You're better in this than the Vesper.”

“Dad only got the Ves a few weeks ago and I haven't driven it much. This is a favourite of mine and Gwaine's so we regularly fight over her- whoever wins gets her.”

“He seems great.”

“He's an arse, but yeah. He's a good egg.”

Merlin laughs at the posh coming through. They spend the rest of the afternoon racing and switching cars and drivers around. Merlin isn't allowed to drive alone because it's his first time out and Gwaine's a bit protective of the cars but he doesn't stop Merlin much when he's driving.

They have a picnic in the middle of the track at lunch time and Gwaine and Arthur have a water fight then a foot race before they get Merlin up and persuade him to race them too. Merlin beats them both to Gwaine's surprise. Arthur just smiles at him and kisses him. Merlin needs to find a way to shock him.

It's brilliant and, somehow, the most romantic date he's ever been on. Merlin decides it has something to do with the adrenaline that pushes him and Arthur to make out rather freely. By the time Gwaine drives them back to the station in the little old Jag they're all so hyped that they just talk constantly over one another.

Merlin watches Arthur and Gwaine say goodbye and decides that Arthur really doesn't think of Gwaine as 'the help'. There's far too much affection there. Gwaine comes over to Merlin and pulls him into a quick, sweaty hug to whisper in his ear.

“Pen really likes you. Be gentle yeah?”

Then he gives Merlin a serious look, nods and walks back to the Jag whistling.

Merlin falls asleep on the train on the way home, only waking when Arthur shakes him for their station. They half stagger out into the evening air and onto the pavement.

“Chips?”

“Mm. I'm starved!”

Merlin leads them to the closest chippy and they eat as they walk back to Merlin's, chatting about this or that, nudging each other and both smiling like crazy people.

“I'm not sure we can top this date.”

“I don't care. I like you Merlin. I wasn't sure when you called me a stripper but now I am. You're brilliant and beautiful and I just don't care where we go.”

Merlin is surprised at that. He'd taken Arthur to be one of those people you have to torture to get feelings out of. Arthur smiles wider.

“I'm feeling a bit high off adrenaline, sorry.”

“It was nice.”

“All right. Any ideas for next time?”

“Um, no not really. What about that street festival?”

“Well, I'll be there. Me and Leon are on duty, though.”

“Nice!”

“Yeah. Pain in the arse as well, people are idiots at these things. Last year... never mind. I'll tell horror stories later. What about... um. No, no ideas.”

“What about... exhibition?”

“My sister's been raving about this exhibition by someone or other in that gallery by the river, the one that has huge windows and a balcony that runs all long the water.”

“Oh! That's supposed to be brilliant. Freya Beast?”

“Yeah. And there's a sound instillation which Helen Mora recorded.”

“Yes, let's go to that.”

“Right. I'm on duty at the festival the weekend so it'll have to be a week night.”

“Thursday?”

“I get off at five thirty. Meet there at six?”

“Sure. I'll see you then.”

They're at Merlin's door now and Arthur stands awkwardly. Merlin rolls his eyes and reaches for Arthur's neck, pulling their foreheads together.

“Smooth you are not. C'mere.”

He kisses Arthur thoroughly then bounds up the stairs to tell Gwen about the awesomeness today has been. 

They don't go to the exhibition on Thursday. Arthur breaks his ankle instead. The way Arthur tells the story it happened during a thrilling chase after a dangerous criminal but Merlin's inclined to believe Leon's more realistic version of running after a petty thief and falling off a curb. 

However it happened it leads to a week off for Arthur and an Arthur trailing after him on photography shoots for Merlin. Arthur's lovely and asks endless interested questions about what Merlin's doing but Merlin is still relieved when Arthur goes back to desk duty the next week. They see each other regularly after that and Merlin's just beginning to feel really comfortable with their relationship when they go to a photography opening for one of Merlin's friends from work years ago.

Arthur turns up in a black jacket, jeans and very smart shirt, still using a crutch and looking rather cross about it. They get the tube down and Arthur offers Merlin his arm when they arrive. It's a very high end gallery and there's champaign in beautiful flutes which Arthur snags for them.

“Jesus, look. The glasses are all one piece. This is really posh.”

“Yes, well Nim's very good.”

“Nim.”

“Nim Lake, the exhibition we're here for? Did you pay any attention?”

“No. No I didn't. Crap, crap. We have to leave. Now.”

“Arthur! What is a peasant like you doing here?”

Arthur closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Merlin peeks around him and sees the most elegant woman he's ever set eyes on. Her hair is styled to hang over one shoulder with what look like diamonds in it, a heavily jewelled necklace about her neck. Her heels are so high Merlin can't help but wince and her dress is a flowy, purple thing that clinches under her breasts and... She's just stunning.

“Morgana.”

Arthur sounds strained and Merlin looks back at him in time to see a mask come up, polite and perfect. He watches as the two face off to one another, both cold as ice. Merlin shivers. Then the woman throws back her head and laughs a rather ugly laugh.

“Oh Arthur, you are a picture. Come here you little idiot.”

Then the two are hugging and Merlin is completely baffled.

“What? What? You were just, now you're, what?”

“This is my sister. Lady Morgana La Fay, may I present Merlin Emrys currently of Sport for Thought fame.”

“Oh, you did those photos for their Paralympic supplement. Very impressive. It's also impressive you got Arthur to an event like this. Though if I know my brother, which I do, I'd assume he was here because he switched off the moment you started talking about art.”

Arthur blushes but doesn't seem at all sorry.

“You know me Morgs, I like to look at art but talk about it? I haven't a clue.”

“That's true, Arty darling.”

“Touché. No more names.”

“Good. Now, Merlin. Why don't you and I go greet Nim? Arthur can be uncultured on his own.”

The terrifying woman takes Merlin's arm and leads him away. Merlin looks over his shoulder at Arthur mouthing 'Sister? Lady? Help!', but Arthur only laughs and limps away.

“Ah, there she is. Nim!”

“Morgana. It is good of you to come. And Merlin, always a pleasure.”

Nim is just as Merlin remembers; creepy and a little frightening. He wonders why he agreed to come tonight.

“Let me show you the piece I'm most pleased with.”

Nim leads Morgana and Morgana tugs Merlin by their linked arms to stand in front of a huge landscape printed on a canvas. The focus is a small stone altar at the centre of a storm. There's something masterful and raw about the image and Merlin remembers why he's here.

“Wow.”

“I think it turned out rather well.”

“Yeah. The contrast between the altar and the elements- immovable and movable. It's interesting because it's really the elements that are eternal and the altar that will erode but in this image it's clearly the altar that hold us, that has the power.”

“Yes, that's a rather nice way of putting it.”

Morgana turns to Merlin and smiles.

“I see why Arthur likes you. You're a bit brilliant aren't you?”

Merlin blushes and stammers but he's already being lead to the next image. It's a fantastic exhibition. A mix of landscape and weather worn faces, it aims to show the link between the earth and humanity and it manages that rather well. 

Morgana is a good companion as well. She's bossy and sure of herself but her opinions are interesting and offered in the spirit of give and take so Merlin feels free to give his own opinion and argue if he disagrees with her. 

It's a bit weird but it's a good weird. It doesn't get awkward until Morgana pauses them in front of the first canvas and gets them Champaign and canapés. 

“So. You're the boy Arthur's been talking our ears off about.”

“I, yes? Maybe. I don't know.”

“You're his boyfriend though?”

“Yes.”

Merlin still feels a thrill about that. They'd only defined their relationship a week ago.

“Then you are the boy he talks about. I have questions, do you mind?”

“Um, I guess not?”

“Good. Are you going to hurt my brother?”

“No.”

“He doesn't deserve to have his heartbroken, Merlin. He's a bit of an ass but he's been... I won't let you hurt him.”

“I won't.”

“That's okay then. Are you aware that he has rather a lot of money?”

“I know who his father is.”

“Yes, but do you know who his mother was?”

“I just know that she died a long time ago. Why?”

“Her name was Ygrain DuBois and she was an heiress.”

“Oh Christ! I know who she was. Jesus. He really is a posh twit.”

“Yes, rather. Ygrain left Arthur a considerable fortune.”

“I did not know that, no. I don't care though. My father is rich and though I've only known him a few years and rarely see him, I am his heir so money isn't a factor.”

“Good, good. Just one more question. Arthur's a policeman and loves his job. Are you going to pressure him to give it up if it gets dangerous?”

“We've talked a bit. No, I never would ask him... That, though, is private.”

“Oh, so you do have a backbone! I thought you'd let me walk all over me. You need a good backbone if you're going to stay with Arthur. Like I said, he's a bit of an ass.”

Merlin takes a gulp of Champaign. This is frightening. Morgana smiles at him then links their arms again and introduces him to all the important people of the photography world. By eleven thirty Merlin's so star struck and dizzy with champagne that he's hanging off Morgana giggling as she guides him around. 

“Arthur!”

Arthur smiles at him from a sofa, placed in a dim corner and empty except for Arthur, crutch leaning beside him. Merlin frowns when Arthur's brow wrinkles.

“What have you done to the poor thing, Morgana?”

“It turns out he's a bit of a lightweight. Here you go, you sit with Arthur while I find you a drink of water and something to eat.”

Morgana stalks off and Merlin watches her, shaking his head a little about how awesome she is.

“Wow.”

“Merlin, snap out of it. She's a monster. She'd eat you for breakfast and not even spit out the bones.”

“No! Not that kind of wow. She knows... everyone!”

“Ah. She does at that. I should have introduced you earlier, I'm sorry. She can probably help you with contacts and things. I just. She frightens people and I didn't want you scared off.”

“Is she really a lady?”

“I'm afraid so. Her mother is Duchess of Cornwall and Morgana will inherit the title.”

“You're really posh aren't you?”

“I am a bit. Morgana's alright after you get to know her.”

“She's awfully protective of you. She gave me a little speech.”

“Indeed? I guess she is. We argue and get on each other's nerves but we do love each other. And here she is now, bearing water and food.”

“Not for you Arthur, this is Merlin's. You don't deserve anything.”

Morgana sits perfectly next to Merlin and hands him a plate with a sandwich on it and a glass of water. Merlin sits back and eats listening to Arthur and Morgana argue idly about one thing then another. 

“I should take Merlin home to sleep this off. He's got a job to do tomorrow.”

Merlin realises he's dozed off and jerks awake.

“Bring him round for lunch one day. I like him and Leon keeps complaining about how he only ever meets him briefly.”

“All right. I'll call sometime. Merlin, time to wake up now. Actually, Morgs. Morgana! Sorry. Morgana. Would you mind giving us a ride home? We got the tube but...”  
Arthur gestures to his ankle, then to Merlin who is flopping against Arthur's shoulder and giggling. Morgana laughs and nods. It takes both of them to get Merlin to the car, Arthur half hopping half supporting Merlin and Morgana laughing heartily at him.

It's a good night all in all and after that they regularly go to lunch with Morgana who, it turns out, is dating Leon. Merlin is a bit confused about it all but decides to just go with the flow. Lance and Gwen sometimes come to lunch as well, and even Gwaine is there sometimes. It's always a bit boisterous and loud but it's fun and these people are obviously Arthur's family and they approve of Merlin completely.

Merlin settles into the relationship and it's easy and comfortable. Dates these days usually involve lazing around at Merlin's or going out to the track for a drive and lots of sex. One day they're crashed out on the sofa after work watching old 'Whose Line Is It Anyway'. Arthur's half asleep, an ice pack pressed to a bruised knee, slumped against Merlin, eyes at half mast.

“I think we should move in together.”

“What?”

“We should move in. You've met my sister, my Gwaine and my Leon, I've met your Mum and Will. There's no more big things, no more surprises. I want to live with you.”

“All right.”

“Oh.”

“What?”

“I always thought there'd be more to something like this.”

“Okay. I'll only live with you on one condition.”

“What's that?”

“We keep this flat, not yours. Gwen lives with Lance now so we'd have it to ourself and your flat is yucky.”

“All right.”

And so they move in together one summer evening at the end of June. Leon, Lance, Percy and Elena help and spend the whole afternoon teasing Arthur and winding each other up. Living together turns out to be easy after the first few arguments that establish the rules. By the time Merlin's Birthday comes around they're settled and comfortable together. 

Merlin invites fifteen people and tells them to bring their partners and friends. There are lots of cops there this year and Merlin only knows a few of them. He gets a few random bottles of alcohol and wanders around drinking from one or the other and making new friends.

Gwen puts on music and Merlin starts dancing. He's just getting into it, Lance on one side Percy on the other, when there's a knock on the door. When Merlin opens it to Arthur a cheer goes up from inside the room.

“Sorry officer, are we being too loud?”

“Oh, no sir. I was called because someone by the name of Merlin is being a naughty boy and needs a telling off.”

“That's me! I'm Merlin!”

“Well, you'd better let me in then hadn't you?”

Merlin giggles and opens the door wider. Arthur pushes through just as Will changes the song to something twangy and sexy. The room has opened to make a space at the centre revealing a chair with a 'Birthday Boy' banner draped over it. 

Merlin looks and then looks again as Arthur walks to the centre of the room and winks at him. Merlin covers his mouth and giggles.

“You're not.”

“Oh yes. Come sit, Birthday boy. I've been told you're the special one here today.”

“Arthur!”

Merlin goes to sit though. If he doesn't it's likely Percy or Lance or Leon or any other of the big strong coppers here will pick him up and place him there. Arthur smiles at him, bends over the chair and kisses him.

Then he starts to strip.


End file.
